Thursday, February 9, 2012

Sitting Idle

                It's difficult when you just seem to not have enough time no matter what adjustments you do in your life. But it sucks more when you have all the time in the world and you don't have anything to spend it on.
                Right now, everyone is busy doing their thing. I, on the other hand, is quite busy of conjuring up ideas of how to pass the remaining 3 and a half hours. It's my first day for a  kind of OJT and I haven't received any instructions yet for my work training.  Good news is that I have been able to aimlessly pass the last 4 and 1/2 hours of being idle. Bad news is that I am running out of ideas.
                No good ever comes out from ranting. Thus, what I'm doing right now? I refuse to call it so. I prefer it to be called, chronicling one's life. Sounds way more interesting, right? Plus, it let's me accomplish my goals - that is to say, finding  a way to pass the time - while exercising my though-typing coordination. Best of all, I get to not laze around and be idle. God I hate having nothing to do.
                Maybe I really am workaholic. The past semester, I have been quite relaxed and my body is just itching to go back to being busy. Err.. Now I'm just rambling.
                On second thought, maybe I should just stop right here. My writing right now is not directed at any topic, and to a certain extent is actually quite senseless. Or maybe I should write something useful. Hmm... that seems like a better idea. So, bye senseless writing (for now). I better find something useful to occupy myself with. Like find the cure for AIDS or something.

Monday, January 30, 2012

On the Way

The family was going somewhere (I forgot the exact location) when we saw the beach on the way. We decided to stop over and just enjoy the view and the waters for a while.

On the road.

My Older Sister - Oblivious to anything; too busy texting

My Younger Sister - Looking Out
My Cousin - Feeling the Moment

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Tarzan and Jane

                   I had a dream again. I guess my subconscious had a meeting and decided ‘movies’ as their theme. Because the days before, it was like the BLACK SWAN. Last night, I got the feeling of being in a shoot with Tarzan and Jane (and no, I wasn’t the damsel in distress, I felt like being Tarzan.. haha :D). Only, there were many people (who eventually died in the end), many complications, a lot of booby traps and even more snakes!
                It all started out in an immersion, the place was really far and beautiful; away from modern civilization. The kind of place where you’ll have to cross rivers and climb mountains. We were to stay with a tribe. I guess it took more than a day to get there ‘coz when we stop in a hut to rest for the night, there was a bar of signal left when I looked at my phone. I even recalled calling my mom and dad because I left something.
Photo from Google Images
                The next thing that happened was purely unexpected. We were all now dressed in tribal clothes. By tribal, I meant pieces of clothes here and there covering some parts of the body but still managing to reveal most of the skin. Quite sexy, really. Plus, I had no ‘excesses’. Haha :D not that it really mattered though, the me in the dream wasn’t really me. Literally! It was someone else posing as me. I mean, it was a different person but I got the distinct feeling it was me. And oh, this was the time I exhibited the cool dude’s character. Just like the typical hero, he got wounded on the earlier part but he made it out alive in the end.
                Or on second thought, maybe I didn’t turn out to be a dude. It’s just that during the second chapter of the dream, I was omniscient. I knew what the other characters in my dream were feeling. But it was quite limited, though. My awareness was centered on the two characters I’d like to call Tarzan and Jane. (Or maybe I was both Tarzan and Jane?)
                I’m just speculating here, but it seemed that the tribe we were supposed to immerse with got caught in a tribal war and the participants of the immersion were left with no choice but to fight for our survival as well.
                It all started with a light atmosphere. Everyone was joking around while trying to learn about the culture. At one point, Tarzan went out the other way, where the other tribe was. Jane was about to stop him when the chief said that there were some things we have to learn on our own. So the group let Tarzan continue. Jane thought nothing of it since the chief and the others were amused at Tarzan so Jane just let it pass thinking there must be a joke awaiting Tarzan.
                The next I knew, everyone was running across the forest. It seemed that the attack had began and the tribe was fleeing for dear life. We were advised to run, not to stop and always look ahead. The enemies had miniature arrows as bullets. Poisonous if I may say, since it only takes one to kill you. People were falling here and there. The rain of arrows only stopped once we passed the forest and came into an open field. Here, the enemies were the snakes.
                Now, the snakes attack in groups. You never know where they are. They only attack once and you get to be bitten only once. I mean, when you get bitten, you are sure to die in an instant. Apart from that, once the snakes strike, they freeze on their spots. They won’t move and they harden as if they are only staffs (remember Moses and his staff that turned into a snake? Just like that only in reverse.). 
                Now, in the field, there was a certain area where people of the other tribe were lined up in two columns. For some reason, despite the fact the field was huge, we had to pass between them. When we were about to step in, the men sprang up into action. They pointed their spears in our faces. There was a girl who said that she would be willing to stay behind but a man rose up and said she couldn’t possibly do it. So, the girl pushed the man away and into the pointed spears. Apparently, in order to pass, a life must be sacrificed. We were able to pass thanks to the man who unwillingly sacrificed his life.
                As soon as the last man from our tribe passed the last sentinel of the other tribe, the snakes attacked. All the members of the other tribe was bitten. So was half of our men. The patterns the snakes made were beautiful. (Apparently, the camera man in my dream was brilliant. He showed me an aerial view and the snakes in a circular pattern with their rigid bodies and people at the center were just amazing).
                Anyway, back to the running, the miniature arrows and a whole lot of snakes. Running through the forest again. People were dying one after the other. The dream ended (‘coz I had to wake up) when Tarzan and Jane reaching the heart of the forest. The setting was beautiful if not for the circumstances with lakes and falls and different trees and flowers. Until the end, Tarzan and Jane were running. They thought that everything unpleasant had ended when they reached the lake. Once in the lake, the guardian of the place – a huge snake – awakened. This snake went after them (the chasing never stops). The dream ended with Tarzan and Jane’s retreating backs.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Beauty that is Most often Taken for Granted

This flower was growing at the edge of a cliff. It was the only flower growing there and I just found its circumstances captivating. It was as if it grew there just to say it could survive when no one expected it to. 

 A few miles from the area where the flower was shot was a park. Picture taken in Dahilayan Bukidnon in the Philippines. ♥

Pre-Valentines Swan

PHOTO NOT MINE. Credits to the one who actually made it. ;)
                I had a dream. A weird one, at that. It was sort of like the BLACK SWAN MOVIE with a prince, a white swan and a black swan. But in my dream, I started out as the white swan. When my ‘prince’ left me for another girl, I became the black one. No, I wasn’t evil, I just changed into a cooler version of me (Although I think it would have been MORE cooler – take note of the redundancy just so you know how much cooler it’d be – if I became evil; ^__________^  ).

                You must be asking what’s so weird about it. I mean, dreams are almost always weird; facts get distorted and the impossible becomes possible. Well, in the dream, there was a ballet and a song number. I don’t know about you, but ME? Doing BALLET? And SINGING? That is just outrageous… lol :D
   I don’t fully remember the song. But I got the impression that it was a spur-of –the-moment thing. Like the ones you see in Disney movies when the characters get so full of whatever it is that they are feeling that they suddenly burst out in songs. Know what I mean?

                Anyway, the first part of the song was about how much I loved, and how much I gave, and all the cheesy-ness that comes with being in love. It was about self-pity, really. But the second part was totally the reverse (and yes, this was the part I became the black swan). It went like…

♫ ♫ ♫ …When you’ll realize that it’s me you want,
that it’s me you need,
I will push you away
Even when you kneel in front of me
I won’t take you in
‘Coz I’ve already given you too many chances
You made a choice
And now I’ve decided…  ♫ ♫ ♫

                Whew! When I was still dreaming, I thought it was great. Seeing the words before me, I’m not so sure anymore.. haha :D

                Oh well, singing and dancing was never for me. As for song-writing… NAH!!   Better leave this to the professionals. tehee ;)

                I still don’t know why I dreamt this though. But I think it’s the coolest until the next time. I mean, every dream is always the coolest. Haha :D 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Man...A Lover and a Friend

         I am a woman, and just like every other regular woman, I long for a man; I long to be loved, held and cared for. A man who will always be there for me as I will always be there for him; a man who does not agree easily to all my opinions but takes stand and defends what he believes in but still keeps an open mind.
          A man who does not surrender to my every whims and wishes but pampers me enough to make me feel special. A man who is capable of understanding my complexity – or at least try to understand it – but also gives me a chance to understand him back.
          A man who gives me room to grow by not forbidding me to meet new friends and permits me to get close to other people but gets jealous enough to not make me leave his side; a man who understands that what we both have is something special and that no other person can ever mimic or even come close to that special something between us.
          A man who is different from me to “spice things up” but is the same with me in some aspects so that we may have a common ground. A man who talks to me about his ideas and problems but also knows how to listen when I in return need to be listened to.
          Above all, a man who loves me for my ability to think maturely and act calm but loves me even more for through my weirdness and eccentricities; not to be afraid when he witnesses the demons in my soul, not flinch when introduced to the voices in my head and not give up on me when he discovers the skeletons in my closet.
          I know very well that these may be too much to ask. I guess what I really want, and more importantly what I need, in simplest terms is to be accepted for who I am and be loved for who I am not.
          That is my man, a wonderful concoction of a lover and a friend. So, have I found him yet? I think that depends on how you see it. I’m not saying that I have and not telling that I haven’t. I, for all my notions of love and of fairytales am entitled to keep a little secret and nurse a little mystery.♥☺♥

Monday, January 16, 2012

A Tribute to Mothers

               When we were at the age of pure innocence, we trusted that nothing could absolutely harms us. Every bruise, pain or cut could readily be healed with a kiss from our dear mother, a band-aid and a lollipop. We used to idolize the grown-ups thinking that they were capable of so many things that we were not. Thus, we longed to be grown-ups ourselves. For most, the epitome of who they wanted to be were  their MOTHER.
                However, as the years go by, our feelings tend to change. We forget the sacrifices that our mothers had to make. We become self-absorbed and selfish forgetting the fact that the world does not revolve around us.
                Remember that story about a mother who had only one eye and her son who was very much ashamed of her? (more of this story on  Whether we admit it or not, at some point in our life, we were all like that: ungrateful sons and daughters incapable of seeing beyond our own acts of selfishness.
                As we grow older, may we never forget that our mothers are getting older as well. There will come a time when she becomes forgetful and will not be able to do the things that she once did with so much ease. When that happens, let us remember to be patient. Let us remember that we were once dependent on her as well. She has had countless sleepless nights because of our piercing screams in the middle of the night, she read us happy stories just so we could drift off to dreamland, she satisfied our queries about the things that we were so eager to know about, and we were truly loved and cared for. We may be too young to remember all the things that she has had to do for us but we can not deny the fact that we grew up to what and who we are now because of her love.
                The time will come when our roles will be reversed. Our mothers will become dependent on us. When that time comes, may we have the wisdom to embrace that role with our hearts wide open.
                Chili Davis once said, "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." May we all take the conscious choice to grow up.